Tom Turkey’s Terror Tunnel

Event Description:
Commander John Blitzen and his team of Reindeer comman-does are the best of the best. Having defeated the white-tailed turncoat Rudolph and having saved Santa from both the evil G.N.O.M.E and the hideous Easter Bunny, the ragged team arrives home… only to find Santa’s daughter kidnapped! Tom Turkey and his tryptophan thugs have taken her to the Tunnel of Terror, it’s up to you to stop him!

Santa’s Notes:
The biggest change this year is obviously the redesigned character sheet. I was inspired by (read: ripped-off) Brock Samson’s License to Kill from the Venture Bros. I was going to cut them with rounded corners, but gave up after Vixen’s sheet turned out like it did.

This was also the year that I added the item deck, having people draw cards rather than having me roll for it. Also worth noting, Dasher’s character sheet isn’t here, because we ran with seven. We ended up re-using the sheet when we needed to add a last-minute ninth player in 2012. The extra character illustration is from regular player Jeremy, who couldn’t make it that year but still kindly sketched us one of his excellent reindeer illustrations.

Character Sheets:

Notable Quotes:

“No! My decorative buckles! The source of all my power!” CF

[On fighting zombie turduckens] “If I go down, don’t let them shove a smaller creature up my ass.”

“Quite a dilemma, isn’t it? You don’t want to hurt your friends, but you don’t want to deny your inner nature to blow things up.” JM

“Instead of laser eyes, does it have cholesterol eyes?”
“Yeah, you can feel your arteries harden.” JM & CF

“An arcane giant zombie turducken? Really?” JM

“Blue gravy. That scares me.”
“You’re more afraid of the color than the fact that we’re fighting sentient gravy.” KF & JM

“As heedless as I am of your lives, I’ve grown rather fond of my own.” JM

“It’s not a party until people are slippin’ on the gravy.” JS

[Vixen explains what about her the mashed potato elementals are attracted to] “My lovely lady lumps.” SS

“Doctor Marvin!”
“I thought you said, ‘fucked a marmot’!” JM & JS

“Get more cocaine. We’ll figure it out.”
“That’s a t-shirt waiting to happen.” SS & JS

“Cranberries fall, everyone dies.” SS

“She can twirl her tassels in opposite directions.”
“All six of them.” KF & S

“You don’t like the taste of that, do you, bitch? [roll] No, you don’t. You didn’t taste anything, because I missed.” JS

[after the Nth filthy comment about her character] “This will never get old.”
“But it will get chafed.” SS & JS

“Who’s that with the pot on your head?”
“Me.”
“Your chicken.” J & J

“I’m in the crotch of the chicken.”
“Again, not a phrase you hear every day.” D & SW